Since I’ve been posting about rules for current Outdoorsmen events, I thought I’d write something about events that have been at one time or another a part of the Outdoorsmen but were retired for various, sometimes obvious, reasons.

The reason I am including this is so that anyone interested in creating an event similar to ours will see that there are a lot of other events you can create for your very own Outdoorsmen. If you don’t like some of the stuff we do, then you can certainly make up your own events. Maybe you’ll even consider some classics like these…

THE MAN HUNT

I still think this is a great idea for the Outdoorsmen, but it never really worked that well for us. The premise is pretty simple; one man takes off into the wilderness and is chased by a team of Outdoorsmen. The ‘hunters’ have three minutes to track him down and tag him.

It’s really just a rip-off of hide-and-seek but it had a convoluted scoring system and more times than not ended up with a fast guy getting to the gravel road as quickly as possible and simply outrunning everybody else. Still, there is potential here for a really good event.

LOG CHOP

Just as it sounds. You take an axe and chop a log in half. The team that does it the fastest wins. We canceled this after two years because it just doesn’t seem to be a good idea to be weilding an axe wildly while you’re drunk. My goal is to compete in as many Outdoorsmen as possible and I think losing a foot or an arm is simply going to cut down on the number of Outdoorsmen I’ll be able to enjoy.

At several points we also considered, but never implemented, archery competitions or marksmanship events, but for similar reasons decided against doing them.

SPEEDWALKING

There may be no Olympic event as glorious or thrilling as the speedwalking contest. Speedwalking is perfect for those of us who don’t like to run. It combines great walking skills with laziness.

We did this event for two years but ran into ‘technique’ issues. The problem was that no matter how hard you tried to not run, someone would always break their gait and end up running to the finish line.

It turns out there are very specific guidelines and rules for speedwalking. It’s not as simple as it sounds. Knees and stride have to meet certain standards and at the end of the day we just decided we didn’t care enough about learning the technicalities of speedwalking so we canceled the event.

Besides, it seems kind of silly to be out in the mountains speedwalking all over the place.

SPITTING FOR DISTANCE
SPITTING FOR ACCURACY

In the first year of the Outdoorsmen, when we were basically making up events as we went along, we didn’t have a lot to work with. One great resource we all had, however, was spit.

So, we created not one, but two events to capitalize on this terrific renewable resource. Spitting for distance, of course, is a great event for all the power spitters in the group. Spitting for accuracy was an event created for the finesse spitters, the ones that could drop a luggie on a dime from 30 feet and not even need to wipe their chin.

Both events lasted for two or three years and then they just got boring. It’s not as much fun as it sounds. I know that’s probably hard for a lot of people to believe, but spitting competitions are kind of dull.

But please, if this is something that you think would kick ass for you and all your friends, then go for it. It’s one event that requires almost no set up or work and for spitting fans it’s like dying and going to a spitting heaven filled with golden spitoons and plenty of napkins.

WHEELBARROW RACING

Again, maybe we were unprepared or something, but this is another event that required no props, accessories, equipment or resources of any kind. It is the old walk-on-your-hands as your partner pushed your feet. It was charming for maybe four minutes.

Still, it is a simple event to pull off if you’re doing an Outdoorsmen on the cheap or if you decide tonight that you’re going to do an Outdoorsmen tomorrow, you could probably throw this event in there and be okay.

We gave this one up after a year or so because it wasn’t as entertaining as the Dead Man Carry and not as challenging as the Death Race 2000 (now Death Race 3000).

There are probably another half-dozen events that we have since given up for one reason or another. But like I said, some of these events may be right down your alley or you may create your very own events that work well for you.

The 15 events we have now have not changed in some time. They work well for us and provide a nice range of skills and challenges.

Today I would like to discuss the Death Race 3000 (formerly the Death Race 2000) and the throwing events.

DEATH RACE 3000 (FORMERLY THE DEATH RACE 2000)

For everyone who was a fan of The Death Race 2000 and was bitter about the name change, don’t worry, The Death Race 3000 is the SAME EXACT EVENT! It just has a different name (note the ‘3000′ is different from the ‘2000′).

During the tumultuous years leading up to the Y2K scare, we took a long hard look at the names of our events and realized that by maintaining the ‘2000′ in the name of the event people would perceive it as outdated and boring. We didn’t want any of that so we changed the name to The Death Race 3000. Now the name will be good for another 994 years.

This event combines speed, beer drinking and the risk of death. Here is how we do it:

1). This is a timed team event.

2). The course can be anything you want it to be. Ideally, it will present a challenge to the competitors. It was designed to allow teams to take any route or shortcut (through brush, bushes, etc.) from point A to point B they perceived to be the best course. The only rule in terms of running the course is everyone starts and ends in the same place. However you get there is up to you.

3). One team member starts at the beginning and sprints through the river and woods until they reach their partner. They drink a beer and then tag their partner, who takes off and races back to the starting point where he will be greeted by a cold beer that he then drinks.

4). Teams may not tag until the first team member finishes their beer. No leaving early.

5). No one has ever actually died in this event. On one hand, that is a really good thing. On the other hand, at some point you would hope that someone would at least have a near-death experience that would lend a little bit more credibility to the name of the event.

THROWING EVENTS

I’ve lumped all the throwing event together because they are very similar. The only difference is what gets thrown. These are all throwing-for-distance events. The farther you throw the better.

A couple of suggestions:

1). Get a good measuring tape. You’ll need something that can measure at least 70 feet unless all your competitors are extremely weak. I doubt that would be the case, but you never know.

2). Make sure you have a rope or some other device to use as a foot-fault line. And make sure it’s something that will stay in place. It’s important that every throw is made from the same place and every throw is measure from the same point.

LOG TOSS
The log toss is usually the first throwing event of the day, although it doesn’t really matter how you order the events. You might have a bunch of guys who love throwing logs around and decide you want that to be the first event or save it until the end. Here are a couple of things we’ve learned about the log toss:

1). Originally, we found a new log each year when we arrived. We are in the woods, so obviously there are a lot of logs waiting to be found. The problem we had, however, was that the logs would break quite often. That created problems when you’re halfway through the competition and the log breaks and splinters into a dozen pieces.

We solved this problem by taking a 4″ x 10″ (approx.) glue-lam and cutting it down to about four feet long and then beveled the ends. This gave us a sturdy, durable piece of lumber to toss around and the first one lasted about six or seven years.

2). Like the Hatchet Toss, this is a single’s event. Each participant is competing on their own. We don’t combine the total distance of each team’s throw.

3). Each competitor has two throws and takes the best of their two throws. We use to do three throws but as more and more people turned out, the throwing events started taking longer and longer and two throws is really sufficient. That way, if someone ’scratches’ on their first throw, they still have a chance to nail a big one the second time around.

4). Throw the log as far as you can, any way you can. There are no guidelines for how you throw the log. I’ve experimented with many techniques over the years but none of them work for me. Other guys, like Walker, are just naturally gifted at throwing logs around. I’m not one of those guys.

5). We measure each throw from the CENTER of the foot-fault line. We tie a small piece of cloth at this point and pull the measurements from the same point each time. It’s just a way of maintaining consistancy.

6). We measure the log to where it ends up, not where it first hits the ground. It may hit the ground at ten feet and then bounce or roll another 20 feet.

ROCK TOSS

This throwing event is incredibly similar to the log toss only, and here’s the big difference so I hope you’re paying attention, we throw a rock instead of a log. Here are a couple of notes on the Rock Toss:

1). Unlike the log toss, we just find a rock when we arrive on location. There are a lot to choose from. The rock usually weighs somewhere between 15 and 20 pounds, maybe heavier some years, maybe lighter.

2). Again, there are no restrictions on how the rock is thrown. Throw it however you like.

3). Like the Log Toss, you measure to where the rock stops, not where it hits. This is an event where the right technique can sometimes generate big rolls.

4). Don’t throw the rock at anybody’s face! Also, you shouldn’t do this event too close to anybody’s car. But of the two cautions, really go out of your way to avoid slamming the rock into someone’s face.

TIRE TOSS

Again, this event is almost exactly the same as the Log and Rock Toss. The only significant difference is the restrictions on how the tire is thrown.

1). The tire must leave the contestant’s hand parallel to the ground. Really, all this means is you can’t roll the tire or throw it perpindicular in a way that will allow it to hit the ground rolling. NOTE: Tires are usually round. They like to roll.

Now, it is entirely possible that even when thrown properly, the tire may hit the ground, bounce up on its end and then roll 20 feet or so. That is okay with us. Shit happens. We just want to avoid intentional rolls or throws that lend themselves to rolling.

2). In terms of the type of tire, we’ve found over the years that the Goodyear K1500 LS or LT 4×4 works the best and provides the greatest stability, traction and grip for this event. That is the only tire that should be used and if you want to do a real Outdoorsmen, you’ll log off your computer this very moment and run down to the local tire store and pick one up so that you can begin practicing today.

Some people will claim the Yokohama TY527 is the premiere tire to use in the Tire Toss, but those people are morons and should be barred from ever competing in the Outdoorsmen. A Yokohama TY527? Please. What the fuck are those people thinking? A bunch of tire snobs is all they are. That would be like using birch or cedar in the Log Toss.

Actually, it doesn’t matter what type of tire you use. The size of tire for us has varied over the years. We’ve thrown some really beefy tires and some smaller tires, but I think something in the middle is probably ideal. We found that is was hard to throw the big-ass 4X4 tires and maintain the parellel technique, but maybe we’re just a bunch of sissies that couldn’t throw a paper-mache tire ten feet.

That’s about it for the throwing events. I think I’ve covered most of the info. I hope this is helpful.

So, as I started to discuss in my last post, I’m going to include some information about the Outdoorsmen event. For everyone who saw the movie, you know that there are 15 events. Below, I’ve tried to summarize each event as best as I can without going into great detail.

If you have any questions, please let me know and I would be happy to share anything I’ve learned from 15 years of doing this.

THE EVENTS

FOUR BEER-BEER CHUG
This is the first event of the day and is a terrific way to shake off any signs of a hangover from the night before. The event is very, very simple: four beers, two men and a stop watch. The team that drinks their four beers in the fastest time wins. Here are the rules we created for this event:

1). You can’t be touching the beer can before you start.

2). Typically, the beers are split equally between teammates, but this is not required. One person could drink three of the four or even four of the four, but that wouldn’t be a very nice thing to do to your partner.

3). Beers must be set back down on the starting block (we usually stack two coolers and use that as the starting block). You can’t toss the cans aside or tip them over or anything like that.

4). The cans are checked to make sure nobody is leaving the better part of 12 ounces in the can. Drink the entire beer. If there is too much beer left in the can, then we will penalize the team by adding time to their score. The trouble with this is determining how much beer left in the can would cause a penalty. At one point we tried constructing a little device that would measure the beer left in the can and if it was over a certain amount, we’d place a penalty on that team. But then we realized that was just too damned anal and decided to just go by what seemed right. It’s a judgement call.

5). This part isn’t really a rule, but more of a suggestion. Don’t let some idiot operate the stopwatch. Make sure they know how to start it and stop it.

6). ‘The Maxfield Beer Bib’. It’s important for anyone looking to establish a credible Outdoorsmen that you avoid too many beer bibs. What’s a beer bib? Ask Maxfield. Anyone who saw the movie saw Maxfield sporting one of these highly unfashionable Outdoorsmen accessories. It’s basically allowing the majority of the beer in the can to flow freely out your mouth and onto your neck, chest, crotch, thighs, knees, shins, feet, toes and the ground within a three foot radius of where you are standing.

Now, I kid about Maxfield because I like him and his little beer bib fashion show was not something he’s ever done before or since that event, but I like to give him shit about it.

In reality, you should try to limit how much beer is spilling out of the can. It’s amazing how some guys seem to suddenly forget where the hell their mouth is when the competition starts. If someone is blatently ‘beer-bibbing’, consider penalizing them.

So that’s the Four Beer-Beer Chug.

SCORING

Before moving on the the next event, I’ll discuss how we handle scoring. Basically, we award five points for first, four points for second, three points for third, two points for fourth and one point for fifth. That’s it. Even if there are six or more team competing, only the top five score for each event.

Most of the events are team events, but several are single events. For these events, the scoring is the same. It is possible, then, for a team to double place in one of these events and score a lot of points. This happens a couple of times in the movie (Maxfield and Cameron get out to a big lead by double placing in the Hatchet Toss).

I think that covers scoring. I’ll get into the bonus beers a bit later.

HATCHET TOSS

The next event I’ll discuss is the hatchet toss. This event use to happen later in the day but at some point we realized it was probably an event that should take place before we’re all really drunk. If we’re going to throw something around when we’re hammered, it should be eggs, not hatchets.

The hatchet toss is pretty simple. It is a single event. Each person competes on their own, not as a team. Here it is:

1). The order of contestants is determined by how they finish in the previous event. So, the last place team from the previous event goes first and so on. The order is important because this event is done in rounds.

2). There is no minimum or maximum distance you need to be from your target. The only rule is that the hatchet must make at least one full revolution. If you can somehow manage that from six inches away, then that’s how close you may stand. Or, if you prefer, you can chuck it from 40 yards.

3). This is a double-elimination event. Two misses and you’re out. At the start of the round, we send people who stick the hatchet in one group and people who don’t in another group. As we progress, we create a third group for people who have missed twice. Those people are out. They suck at this event. I spend a lot of time with that group because I am really, really bad at this event. Even if I was allowed to stand inches from the tree or stump and allowed to drive the business end of the hatchet without throwing it, I would still probably struggle in this event.

The more I think about it, the more I think this is a stupid event. Why am I even discussing it. It’s dumb, stupid and I hate it.

Where was I? I don’t know and I don’t really care. Figure this one out on your own. Throw the hatchet and figure it out.

I just wasted ten minutes of my life trying to describe a hatchet toss. That’s ten minutes I could have spent reading the Bible or preserving wetlands. I probably would not have done either of those things, but it certainly puts things into perspective.

How about this? In terms of the Hatchet Toss, just ask me a question if you have one. That’s how we’ll handle this event.

I think that’s all I’m going to post for now, but I’ll post more soon and eventually cover everything.